Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Catering to the Bottom Line

Am I the only one sickened by the fact that Sean Penn, Jim Carrey, and Benicio del Toro are going to be the Three Stooges in a feature? I sense a real lack of outrage here and the notion that we can just nick something classic and remake it so reflective of the times we live in. Can't we value the past and then just leave it the hell alone? I understand that musicians peform covers as an homage to their favorite composers and lyrics, but covering film equates to just stealing it outright and devaluing it in the process. I can't think of a single remake that has actually improved the original and fail to understand how Sean will squeeze another Oscar performance out of the Academy with the inevitable prat falls he has lined up. And I know that I'm whipping a dead horse here, but really, what's next? Meryl Streep as Deborah Kerr in End of the Affair, although I think they already remade that with Jennifer Lopez. Forgive me. Then we definitely need to redo His Girl Friday (George Clooney and Julia Roberts, of course, with a steamier script by Judd Apatow perhaps), and Roman Holiday (Joaquim Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon heat up the screen again), Dirty Harry (Ed Norton playing Eastwood), and many, many more. Let's not leave out the talented Ashlee Simpson, Britney Spears, Miley, or any of the other dispensable charmless human widgets put out by the Hollywood machine. And let's not forget that the whole point has little to do with entertainment -- not real entertainment that gives you something of value for the big bucks wrestled out of your wallet. How silly. It's all really about the bottom line, isn't it? And we all know what bottom's produce.


Diana Geffner-Ventura said...

I hear ya, sistuh...I love Benicio, but I'm not quite imagining him as Moe. Maybe they cast him for the prominent bags under his eyes...it's a stretch. Less than a stretch, though, is Sean Penn. I'm thinking Lower East Side Jewish shlub meets Jeff Piccoli. Jim Carrey as Moe? He's got the insanity, but the rest, who knows. But all of this, neither here nor there, why??? Trying to pull off a fast one is why. Our insatiable interest in pop culture combined with the inexplicable need to be nostalgic. I'd rather see the Fine Bros do it in their own, crackling, black-and-white style...(but I am curious...)

David Bickley said...

I couldn't agree more, especially after what was done to the Pink Panther movies.I would love to hear the logic behind the decision to replace the timeless antics and banter of Peter Sellers and Herbert Lom with the lackluster and predictable performances Steve Martin and Beyonce Knowles.

Perhaps ten years from now, we will be treated to Miley Cyrus and Zach Efron sitting on opposite sides of plexi-glass with Zach doing best imitation a psychopathic ex-Baltimore psychiatrist rattling off the lines "Oh Agent Starling, you think you can daaa-sect me with this blunt little tool?"